DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 glasses	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 0:00	50 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 24:00	250 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 24:15	1 cup	oral	Tea

BODY WEIGHT:

102 kg

MDMA 1st Time

The main point of this story is not the experience itself but rather the after effects during the next few days.

At the time I was experiencing am extreme amount of personal and professional stress. And had done so for many months. I think it may also have been exacerbated by something of a mid-life crisis. I simply could not sleep more than a few hours a night and was waking up at 4:30am. I smoke a little weed or hash normally to relax, as I gave up alcohol several years ago but for the odd glass of wine. I was not addicted to alcohol but it just didn't give me much pleasure any more and I needed to lose weight.

Anyway I had had about a gram of MDMA crystals lying around for a few months intending to give it as a present to a friend who parties hard regularly. I was not even very curious about it. I have done a little amphetamine when I was younger and never got much out of it. (probably poor quality street crap.)

Many drugs do not seem to have as strong an effect on me as others. On the few occasions I have had surgery in hospital, and a dentist once, I have had to ask for the dosages of anesthetics to be upped because the standard doses weren't quite cutting it in post op. I thought perhaps it was because I was a heavy drinker and tobacco smoker at the time.

So I am out of weed and can't sleep. I had two glasses of red wine and that didn't help then I remember the MDMA crystals. So I took about 50mg (I always under dose on the first try of anything) and felt nothing. About 90 minutes later I was very relaxed and went to bed and slept soundly.

The next night it is 11pm and I still have no weed so decide to really give the MDMA a big nudge. I weigh out about 250mg, wrap it in a tallyho and swallow it with some milk, then go back to a turn based strategy war game on my pc. I am in a large comfortable swivel chair in a dark room but for a table lamp behind me and the screen on my desk in front of me.

T+00:15 Nothing. Made a cup of tea and drank it.

T+00:30 As advertised, it hits quite quickly exactly at the 30 minute mark. My body tenses at first and as I relaxed I am conscious of information flooding from every nerve ending in my body. Delicious warm waves flow from my head to my calves. I think my feet are floating. I want to feel and taste the air molecules. Suddenly I am startled at beautiful golden rays of light piercing the air around me from the orange LED on my PC case. They are reflecting off my wedding ring on my left hand and dancing about my eyes. It is possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I sit back in my chair and let my head roll back and close my eyes. When I open them and check the time it is 11:50pm. I have been motionless and utterly content and serene for about 20 minutes.

T+00:50 Something in my war game distracts me so I lean forward and go back to it. I do not remember much about the game other than the colours on the screen were particularly brilliant. I checked the game records next day and I performed a little better than average but not that much better. I am constantly aware of the stressors in my life but do not give them much thought. I do not receive any deep insights and am not sure that I experienced euphoria. Without really being aware of the time it is suddenly 3am and I go to bed, first tripping over my dog who had being laying next to my chair the whole time. I give him a cuddle and he enjoys in a good ear scratching before I wish him good night with a kiss on the head.

I slept soundly but had to be up and about at 6am so was very tired. I came home early and stole a nap before the family came home at 5pm.

T+24:00 That night I could not sleep at all. Not one wink. I did not take any more MDMA because I was worried about sleep deprivation reducing my performance at work. I simply drank lemon tea and wandered about the house surfing the net, watching TV and laying on the couch. I made breakfast before everybody got up and left for an early start to work.

T+36:00 About 11am that day I had to meet a colleague in a popular café area about 10 miles from my office. I had worked in this area for about five years nearly 15 years ago and I would be there every few months. I am very, very familiar with the area, the shops, the views and the route to get there. The drive to the café was uneventful except for a little jolt or zap in my head that I interpreted as a mini-sleep episode because I was so tired. I opened all the windows in the car because the cold air that day blowing on my face would help keep me alert. As I drank my coffee and talked to my colleague I very gradually became aware that my surroundings, the buildings and the people were becoming, the only words I can use, hyper-real. It was as though the entire scene had been assembled by a Hollywood studio for my sole benefit. The people were brilliant actors, the buildings constructed from my memories, in minute detail and the scratches on walls, the tire marks in the car park, had all been prepared the day before just for me. It was a pleasant feeling. I felt special. This was about 36 hours later.

I was not delusional in any way. I took a few calls and dealt with business. I went to a shop and bought some trivial things like shampoo, interacted with people. I recognised that I was noticing minute details of things that I hadn’t looked at for years, the detailed trimming on a hedge near an office, a weed that had flowered through a crack in the pavement. It was nice. But the “other wordly” feel persisted. So I rang the office and said I would not be back, lying that I had to go and see another client.

I spent the next hour or so just walking around looking at things and people going about their business, and enjoying the wonder at the sheer beauty of it all.

On the drive back I was not tired at all. The familiar scenery of the drive home was filled with old but new sights like colorful washing on an apartment balcony that always seems to be there but today it was new and beautiful.

And the calm introspection on my life and circumstances as I enjoyed the afternoon rewarded me with energy and vigour that has lasted more or less a week now. I actually laughed for the first time in months at some thing I saw on TV yesterday. My clients and colleagues remarked at the change in my temperament and abrupt improvement in my results.

Now this is the strange bit. When I look back to that day a week or so ago the feeling is the same as when I move away from home for a few years and only just returned home for the first time. It is a little bit disorienting but very pleasant.

I am still having trouble sleeping but it doesn't worry me as much as it did.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 96676
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 49
Published: Feb 27, 2019	Views: 781
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MDMA (3) : Hangover / Days After (46), Performance Enhancement (50), First Times (2), Alone (16)