DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 shot	oral	Alcohol - Hard
T+ 1:00	1.75 g	oral	Mushrooms	(dried)
T+ 4:20	1 shot	oral	Alcohol - Hard

BODY WEIGHT:

76 kg

Feelings before dosing; nervous, slightly afraid of what may happen. I had a whiskey an hour before dosing, which was a good relaxant and helped subside a majority of my nerves. The setting was my flat, which was familiar and comfortable. We dosed at roughly 8:00pm.

T +0:00 - I take two capsules (1.75g) with two friends, X and P (who take 4 and 5 each respectively), and one friend who remained sober the whole night, A. I was very nervous, minor shakes and a real uncertainty over what to expect. We put on My Little Pony, and all sat around. It seemed to get us all into a good mood, but by the end of the episode, I wasn't feeling anything, so I suggested we go for a walk. We went to a small reserve close to my house, and sat at a bench that overlooks the town. My friend X commented on how nice the lights looked, and how they were somewhat twinkling. After about 20 minutes, we decided to go back home. I wasn't feeling anything at this point, nor was P.

T +0:30 - We arrived home, and sat down to watch more MLP. It was at this point that I noticed my thought pattern had changed somewhat, and I kept wondering whether it was just placebo or an actual effect of the mushrooms. I kept asking myself whether I normally felt this way while sober, and that seemed to make the effects more apparent. I felt a light 'stoned' feeling, my face felt warm and I was feeling rather euphoric. At this point, both X and I were laughing at everything. He'd laugh, which would then set me off, and we'd not stop for what felt like 10 minutes each time. Apart from this minor alteration in thought process and the 'giggles', nothing else was too apparent.

T +1:00 - Increased body load, feeling similar to the way I do on marijuana, without the paranoia and body pulses. My floor and carpet are very psychedelic, and X told me they'd be the main points of interest earlier on. I remember suddenly seeing images in the floor, made up by the almost static appearance of the texture (my floor is a heap of jumbled colored squares that resemble television static.) I kept seeing very Aztec-esque imagery. I saw monkeys, snakes and just random letters from languages that didn't exist. Every bright color in the room was suddenly very pure and I noticed that the lighter colors of my couch had taken over the dark blue that made up the majority of it. The room was very bright, and I felt warm and safe. The giggles had increased tenfold.

T +1:20 - I was definitely peaking at this point. Objects in my peripheral vision were breathing mildly, and images in the floor had taken on geometric shapes and 3D-esque trenches (it's extremely hard to put into words what they looked like). I closed my eyes, turned on the strobe light in my phone and held it up to my eyes. This is when I entered a whole other world. I saw myself flying through a triangular tunnel, heading towards someplace unknown. I noticed that the closer I held the strobe, the more intense the experience was. I must have traveled through this tunnel for about 10 minutes, before I 'broke out' to the other side, which was a HUGE void filled with rotating squares with '+' signs in the middle of them that stretched out for eternity. Each square seemed to belong to a column of other squares that moved either up or down. There was an infinite amount of columns, and as far as I could see, they never ended. I felt like the tunnel I had just traveled through was part of a HUGE wall of yellow light that sat behind me. I wanted to explore this space more, but my friend said my name and snapped me out of it. In that instant, I seemed to travel back through the tunnel at a ridiculous speed as I removed the strobe from my closed eyelid. I placed the light on my other eye, and noticed that the shapes were harder and 'angrier' (as opposed to my right eye, which seemed to give of softer, friendlier shapes). I told this to X, who asked me whether it was evil or demonic, to which I told him I felt it was just misunderstood and 'different', not necessarily evil. We then had another laughing fit. I checked my pupils with my phone to see how dilated they were, and I was surprised to see how huge they had gotten. This seemed to put a new spin on the experience, in which my eyes felt much bigger than usual and able to see things I wouldn't normally be able to see. I remember thinking X was smoking a cigarette, as I kept seeing him blow out smoke. I later realized that this was just him putting his hand to his chin.

T +2:00 - Many of the visuals had either subsided, or become less apparent by this point as I became very introspective, asking myself over and over 'is this what tripping really is?' I felt somewhat disillusioned with the concept of the psychedelic experience and how familiar it seemed to feel. The capsules that the shrooms came in started to make me think of how manufactured things are these days, and that even something like shrooms can become subjected to this. I wasn't feeling unhappy, just a little jaded. I started thinking about how psilocybin is just a chemical that alters our perceptions just like any other chemical, and that the familiar feeling I felt was a result of this. It's hard to describe what I was feeling without making it seem like disappointment, which wasn't the case. X and P went outside to smoke some weed, as I watched some I.T. Crowd, which really put me back into a good mood.

T +2:50 - X suggested we turn all the lights off and turn on the strobe light again. I did so, and placed the phone at our feet as we all stood around it. X and P were trying their hardest not to lose their minds, while I started to see the patterns in the floor again, but this time, MUCH more apparent. There were no animals or shapes this time, just jagged lines and circular 'holes' (again, quite difficult to explain.) X and P started to become panicked, so I turned the strobe off. As I did so, 'sun spots' (balls of light I see each time I blink if I look at the sun a little too long) developed in my vision, and created MAJOR trails in the dark. This only lasted a fraction of a second, however. We all sat down once more and a discussion developed about life, the mind, what 'human' is, death and how meaningless it is, etc.

T +3:20 - At this point, I was noticeably coming down, and could feel myself returning to reality. X and P were now quite high after smoking more weed, and I said that I was feeling pretty drained and tired. I took a shot of whiskey as a nightcap and jumped into bed. I had mild difficulty sleeping, but it didn't take too long until I was out.

Fast-forward to this morning, and I feel absolutely amazing. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I don't know what I was feeling stressed about before this... it all seems so insignificant. I'm on holiday from university, I have no work to do, it's a beautiful day, I have money, I have my car... life is good. Nature is really quite amazing as well. The first thing I did when I got up was look out my window, at my lawn and the trees that surround it, and I felt totally at peace in euphoria.

I learned a lot about my mind as well, mainly with regards to my fears about a bad trip and my anxiety concerning my heart. I realized that a bad trip is only something that can happen if I feel genuinely frightened, and that I had literally nothing to fear. This kept me in a relatively positive frame of mind the entire trip. I'd definitely love to try mushrooms again, at a higher dose.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 96764
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Mar 28, 2020	Views: 644
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