DOSE:

3 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

235 lb

I'm 24 years old and working a job I absolutely hate. I've been absolutely miserable for the past four years trying to get another job but in the town I live tech support jobs are few and far between for someone who doesn't have a ton of college under them. I've always struggled with being extremely self conscious and just a cynical outlook on life. Most of this has completely changed just a few short days ago thanks to the magic of these sacred mushrooms.

A guy I had not talked to for probably 6 months sends me a text message two weeks ago out of the blue asking me how I am. We chit-chat a little bit when he finally tells me why he is reaching out to me. He asks me if I had ever taken mushrooms before. I said I had not but I was interested in them. He informs me that he has been growing his own mushrooms for some time now and wanted to see if I wanted to trip with him and his girlfriend. I was giddy at the thought because I had done much research on psilocybin and after the John Hopkins study came out I really wanted to try them.

We talk for two weeks when we finally set a date to take them. I arrive at his home before the sun goes down and we talk for a bit, a little awkward since we had never really hung out together without the presence of another common friend before. His girlfriend retrieves a jar full of dried mushrooms and he starts to measure them out with a digital scale. I ask him how much we are taking and he replies 'oh, only 3 dried grams'...my eyes kind of widened because I had read that was a pretty high dose. I asked him if that was a lot since it was my first time. He smiled and said not to worry about it...he asks me 'do you want enlightenment or do you just want to see pretty colors? Trust me.' So we grind up the shrooms with a small blender, mix it with peanut butter and honey, slab it on toast and eat it up. It was really hard to go down, had to have a beer to help get it down my throat. After months of reading online about psychedelic experiences I was now eagerly, and I must admit a little anxiously, waiting for the trip to begin. We walked outside so the other two could have a cigarette.

After about an hour I started feeling drowsy, almost like I had a six pack of beer or so. I notice a cute girl walking on the sidewalk below us and I think to myself how much I wish I could say something to her. Afraid of any kind of rejection I didn’t say anything. About this time the sun had set and I notice across the street another house’s windows have what looks like a vibration around them. I ask the others if they are seeing anything and they confirm they are starting to see a few things too. I notice right next to where we are standing there are cobwebs and dirt on the wall. I stare at it a few seconds and the cob webs start to spiral and move almost as if it was a colony of bugs dancing in circles. We stand around and have many conversations ranging from many different topics. The girl in the group gets excited and says “Oh yeah! We have to go to the knoll!” and her boyfriend agrees. I follow them down the stairs to a path leading the way. Along the way, many plants and flower are hanging into the path. They catch my eyes and I admire the beauty that I would have never stopped for without these mushrooms at all. We continue onto the knoll and find an open area with a large oak tree and sit down on the hill. I look at this tree and notice the bark of the tree lighting up like it had electricity flowing through it. We sit in a circle around my phone that is playing an album I found on Spotify called The Celtic Tribute to Metallica because it fit the mood perfectly. I look up at the stars and notice a crisscrossing of lines connecting each star, almost like a kaleidoscope had been placed over my vision while looking at the stars. I feel completely relaxed but I notice that everyone in the group is bare foot while I had shoes on. I kicked off my shoes and socks and took off the over shirt I was wearing over my t-shirt. I laid back in the grass and closed my eyes…

It was then I was flooded with questions inside of my head…everything I held true in my life, things from why I think about myself the way or do, why I was afraid to talk to that cute girl earlier, why I let so many things upset me. I came to the conclusion that most everything in life is completely ridiculous and the things that I let eat away at my happiness are just bullshit... I then opened my eyes and I smiled. I felt like for the first time in my life I was seeing in color. That for every moment of the past four years in my bullshit job I was allowing myself to be miserable at I was seeing in black and white. I sat up and started talking to my other two friends again. My friend asked me why I lived, why I get out of bed everyday. I thought long and hard and was finally able to tell him that my reason was to make others laugh. I have only been doing stand up comedy for maybe 2 months now but that was my lifelong dream, to be able to make a decent living making others laugh. We walked back to his apartment, while sitting on his balcony again the cute girl walked by. I waved at her and said hello, and she actually waved back and said hi. My friends were impressed because they had never heard her voice before. I can be that guy. I can meet new people. I’m the only person stopping myself.

Six hours after ingesting the mushrooms I was completely sober and able to drive back home with no problem. The next day I woke up and it was like having all of my emotions back that I didn’t even know were missing. I must have been suffering from some sort of depression, because I have been happy everyday since that beautiful trip. My job doesn’t bother me anymore; I have an interview this week for a new job that’s pretty much locked in for me doing something I think I will enjoy. I’m finally free from my own self induced torment and I still have much learning to do. Psilocybin has given me the tools to learn about myself and I will honor it through living.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 97216
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Feb 10, 2023	Views: 278
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Mushrooms (39) : Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)