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A Journey Into My Mind
Mushrooms & Cannabis
Citation:   Killbot. "A Journey Into My Mind: An Experience with Mushrooms & Cannabis (exp98005)". Erowid.org. Nov 9, 2022. erowid.org/exp/98005

3.5 g oral Mushrooms (dried)
  1 hit smoked Cannabis (flowers)
I ate the mushrooms at about 10:45. The others with me decided that we would go to a park to smoke and hopefully get back before they started kicking in. While we walked into the park I began to feel a bit of a body high. My limbs began feeling lighter starting from my feet and radiating upwards. It eventually became a euphoric numbness that would start at my feet and pulsate throughout my entire body. We reached the point where we were going to smoke and I began feeling it in my head. At first it just felt like I was really high-body numb, strange visual perspective of the world. We went under a bridge and since I was beginning my journey into insanity I decided to just take one hit from a bong. The hit was like a shot to the head.

Suddenly it felt like my body was spaghetti, I could walk and stand but I would swerve about like a drunk. I managed to get out of the tunnel to my friend who didnít smoke and was sort of keeping watch. Then things kicked into high gear. First thing I noticed were rainbow halos around every light. Eventually these halos turned into things that looked like lens flares, but with rainbow colored tendrils extending out from them. Soon I began seeing flashes of light everywhere, like lightning in a cloud, but in the sky, in trees, in the grass, etc. Soon I began seeing tracers whenever I moved my head, they were short lasting and rainbow colored. Everything began to be accompanied by a rainbow ghost image sort of, making everything look really blurry.

It was then that my entire vision was paved with fractals, just a fractal grid overlaying everything I saw that was pulsating with color. This whole time the sky was shifting from a deep purple to a dull red. I began experiencing pareidolia, seeing faces everywhere, mostly Aztec and Inuit art looking faces, but also some angry looking faces in the bark of trees. They were tessellated and nestled into every surface. At this point the trees began doing surreal things. One row of trees looked like the exact same tree copied, pasted, and mirrored over and over again. Another tree was in the shape of a snowflake. The others were bending and rippling and pulsating. Any light source was now radiating rainbows. At this point the sky was now being crossed by flashing rainbow wires and the psychedelic grid was replaced with tessellated colorful animal faces, most notably, bears.

It was at that point my friends were finished smoking and we started walking back. My body ceased to exist and I felt like I was made of smoke. As we walked down the road, the road was swirling with flowing colors like a river, and my smoky body kept getting caught in it and drifting away. Now things began to take on the appearance of a mosaic, the world made up of interlocking polygons. Every sound I heard stuttered and trailed off, I no longer had a sense of body and it felt like it was just moving on its own accord without any control from my mind. The street at this point was literally a flowing river that I was walking on the surface of. I somehow made it home without just collapsing and tripping out, and at this point my mind was dominated by stuttery tearing sounds and the word ďstairsĒ in my voice just echoing in my head again and again. It was now about 11:20

We got inside. And this is when things stopped working. The first thing that happened was the utter destruction of linear time. I collapsed onto the floor and lay there as my body slowly faded away to join the fractals of the floor and my mind wandered off. For the next two hours I faded in and out of physical unconsciousness, my conscious state consisted of an extremely warped real world, my unconscious state consisted of my mind traveling to separate worlds. I donít know the order any of this happened in so Iíll just list them as they came to mind.

Unconsciously, I traveled to various worlds. The most significant was an infinite expanse of swirling and interlocking colors and fractals with no real definition of time or space. I was not even some sort of physical manifestation, just another part of the endless swirl.
I traveled to various worlds. The most significant was an infinite expanse of swirling and interlocking colors and fractals with no real definition of time or space. I was not even some sort of physical manifestation, just another part of the endless swirl.
While I was there I felt like everything had already happened, I was currently experiencing the past, and there was no such concept as present. It was here that I felt so insignificant, that I had reached a higher plane of existence, that because I was here, it didnít matter if my body died or anything. I would consider this the peak of the trip, whenever it happened.

Other subconscious experiences were incredible. I traveled into a wild world of my imagination, seeing fantastic creatures that defy description. In here I had a physical manifestation of a muscular man with a prism for a head. At one point I battled a great horned fractal beast with a rippling sword made of tessellated diamonds. I also had a period where I entered the game Oblivion and though this world was not nearly as psychedelic, everything still had a rainbow sheen to it. Recent memories and dreams kept popping up, completely distorting my perception of time, and I vividly relived happenings from earlier in the day/the night before, along with being able to freely explore psychedelic versions of my dream worlds. Simply put, I was lucid dreaming. At one point the room fell away to reveal a vast cityscape inhabited by faceless white people in work clothes. It was a very disorienting experience.

The overworld was even more disorienting. Once again, I have no idea when any of this happened. My body would trash around automatically beyond my conscious control while I was in the overworld, and at some point I managed to remove my shirt and kick over a large bucket of cat food. The entire overworld experience was marred with a striking paranoia that I had either sat in dog shit or vomited. Each time I faded back into reality, I wasnít sure whether or not I had actually done either of those things and I would manage to ask one of my friends in broken English. When they confirmed that neither had happened, I was stricken with waves of euphoria and relief before falling into unconsciousness again. I attempted controlled movement when I was awake but my body literally felt like It was made of liquid and I would quickly collapse, watching my arm ripple and melt into the ground.

My waking moments were host to all sorts of peculiar visions and experiences. My friends had put on a George Carlin routine, but his words were deflecting off of me as babble and there were about 5 different colored mirror images of him on the screen. There was a point where my friends were laughing, but they all had eyes and mouths on the back of their heads and the eyes were staring at me and laughing maliciously at me. One of my male friends turned into a green eyed girl. The dimensions of the room and my body stretched and distorted. I saw friends there who werenít really there. I fumbled with an imaginary pair of glasses. A booming voice would tell me that I fucked up and that I shouldnít interact with people. At one point I saw everyone standing over me, concerned and envisioned myself on a hospital gurney, dying. They put on a new movie, and the characters had way too many eyes and were trying to talk to me. It was at this point my mind shattered and I entered bad trip territory. I still have no idea what time it was.

So my mind shattered. I lost all concept of using the English language, I could no longer connect words to meanings. I tried to talk to people, tell them, and it made sense in my head, but apparently I was just babbling strings of random words to them. I then lost the ability to think. I could no longer memorize things for very long and I could no longer connect my thoughts. While my friends were laughing on the couch, I was on the floor trying to piece together what just happened and gain a grasp of language and rational thought. My thoughts would lead from one to the other, the most recent one fading into obscurity. With a new thought, the previous one would utterly disappear. This lead me through an endless chain of questioning my existence and whether or not I had permanently damaged my mind.

I ran across the room and sat on the couch, my friends confused but also stoned to hell and watching the movie. While on the couch I couldnít shake the feeling that I had fucked something up or done something terrible. When I tried to ask, it was once again, babble. They may have reassured me, but I had quickly forgotten their words. I became trapped in several time loops, repeating the same action or experiencing the same thing 20 or so times. I began falling into holes, where I would literally fall at something and seem to fall into it, only to end up in the same position. These holes included floor tiles, a cat, and a chasm that opened up on my arm. I faded into nothingness for a bit until I realized my friends had gone to sleep. At this point I was capable of rational thought, but had no idea what communication was. My thoughts were still racing and going in circles but I could at least remember things. I became terrified that I had permanently damaged my mind and curled up waiting for the trip to end. I watched my fingers drop off and objects appear and disappear before my eyes. At this time, everything still had a rainbow double-image.

Around 2:30, the hallucinations and bad thoughts finally stopped. I was suddenly lucid minded. I cleaned up the cat food, put my shirt back on, and didnít sleep the rest of the night.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 98005
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Nov 9, 2022Views: 1,080
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Mushrooms (39), Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)

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