Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Krevency. "Complete Disassociation for 4 Hours: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp98663)". Erowid.org. Sep 19, 2019. erowid.org/exp/98663
This was my sixth time doing mushrooms. I had appreciated before how different the experiences of two different people taking the same amount from the same batch could be, but had never realized how different the same amount could be to myself between different instances.
I've done 1/8 of an ounce of mushrooms 3 times. The first was quite powerful, and I observed a lot of visuals and a strong body high. That was the first time I did mushrooms.
The second time, my friend warned me that they were, 'Twice as strong as normal.' I ended up, at the peak, lying in my bed, with my eyes closed, literally feeling the walls of my being falling away and the inner part of me blending with the rest of the universe. During that experience, though, I knew who and where I was. When I had to puke, I was able to get up and find a bucket.
A few days ago, some friends were doing extasy. Last time I did E, I was up for 2 days, so I opted for shrooms. They had blue spots on them this time, which I took for bruising (P. cubensis bruises blue). They did smell a little different than usual, too. Maybe it would have been wise to steer clear, but I wasn't going to throw out the night, if you know what I mean.
Was playing Magic: The Gathering when I felt it hitting. Had to throw in the towel as the high got stronger. My friend put on Pink Floyd's The Wall for me to watch, but I ended up watching the ceiling above the TV, which was swirling and pulsing, much more interesting than the movie which I couldn't make any sense of.
Was in the bedroom a short time later, staring at the popcorn ceiling, which seemed not only endlessly wide and deep, but endlessly complex. The mild constant ringing in my ears was loud and surrounded me. It was the roller coaster ride I was used to with mushrooms.
And then I went on to a 'whole nother level.' I don't know how long it lasted, but I remember looking at stars, pulsing with rainbow light, like I was looking at the whole universe, and then realizing that everything I was seeing only amounted to one guy doing a drug, and being blown away by this. I literally did not know who or where I was, or that 'being somebody' was a thing. There was zero self-awareness.
Over the next few hours, I was repeatedly 'losing track' of reality. I had to keep reminding myself that there was a 'reality layer' to things, that it was something that the rest of the people in the house shared
I had to keep reminding myself that there was a 'reality layer' to things, that it was something that the rest of the people in the house shared
, and that anything I did in the reality layer would seem important to me the next day, so I couldn't do anything foolish.
For instance, I was lying on my bed naked, and to get up and go into the house naked would have been nothing to me. It would have just one arrangement of pixellated objects, though I'm sure that doesn't make sense to anyone but me. Everything I sensed seemed only to be an object floating around in 3d space, whether it was a feeling, or a sound, or spacial orientation. So, there was the still small voice of reason telling me that this particular arrangement would be negatively significant, and that I would not be doing myself any favors to arrange them that way.
I remember sitting on the toilet, in the dark, with rainbow madness all around me, desperately feeling the toilet with my hands just to make sure that I was peeing in the right place. I had to keep reminding myself that there was a house around me, and it was arranged in a certain way, and I rebuilt the layout of the rooms in my mind, in relation to where I was, over and over.
I kept realizing that I hadn't ever been that high before, hadn't ever repeatedly lost track of reality, so there was something special about the mushrooms. I remembered the blue dots at some point and was trying to tell my friends about it (seemed very important) but they invariably told me that we would talk about it the next day. I wasn't making much sense and mumbling.
I was trying to tell people that I wasn't having a bad trip, because I kept forgetting that there was me, so I didn't have any opinion about it. Nobody could hear me, though.
As I was coming down, I asked for some crayons and paper, and drew/wrote some frantic things, trying to communicate the things I hadn't been able to communicate all night. Talking about the 'responsibility to reality' and stuff like that. At some point, there were almost no visuals, but when I finally went to bed they came back. It was a relief to know that I was 'back.'
Anyway, I think I'm going to stick to 1.5 to 2 grams from now on.
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