Citation: Brad. "How Can This Shit Be Legal: An Experience with Etizolam (exp108327)". Erowid.org. May 29, 2018. erowid.org/exp/108327
||(powder / crystals)
Hi. I'd like to do a short and sweet report on the worst thing I ever did to myself; Etizolam abuse.
Like a lot of drug people, I came across this stuff from a Research Chemical vendor. I was looking for a way to get around opiate withdrawal, as I use RX codeine for chronic pain, and benzos seemed to be the ticket. They took away the edginess of codeine withdrawal and beat the insomnia to a pulp (restless legs remained, selah). I bought them from a friend, 0.5 lorazapam's, only they were too expensive. Then I heard about etizolam and ordered a gram. It seemed too good to be true, and lo and behold, it was. Powder etizolam practically begs to be recklessly overused, and that is exactly what I did.
Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts.
See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
I dosed stupidly with this stuff, did no research on dosage or possible harm, and would just stick a knife in the bag and put it in my mouth. I'm an idiot though. Anyone with a sense of self-preservation should avoid this practice.
I eventually got myself a .000 scale, and what I had thought were moderate eye-balled doses turned out to be monstrous overdoses. A proper dose barely dusts a 0 gelcap, I can hardly see 2-3mgs of etizolam... I was filling them a good 1/8 of the way! After a few weeks of two 10-15mg caps nightly, my balance began to fail, cognitive performance was all over the place, and I developed some speech impediment. People began to think I was losing it, so it was here I decided to stop, and begin the agony of benzo withdrawal. I've been tapering down the last few days, but today is my first dry day, and I am writing this thing without a milligram in me.
It's every bit as fun as they say. I've quit cigarettes, alcohol, cocaine, and withdrawal from codeine regularly, but this trumps them all. Every waking moment is spent in an anxious, sometimes suicidal, fugue state. There is nothing to be done about it either, this is one trip into hell there is no little helper to see me through. There's no methadone or kratom for etizolam junkies. There is only a feeling of losing one's mind, coupled with the fear of having damaged some neuro-pathways which may never completely recover. To stay under the radar I have not been to see my doctor, but if the symptoms do not improve within a week, I'm probably going to need a CT scan to see if I've done anything really bad up there.
December 2018 Follow-Up Report
March 2019 Follow-Up Report
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Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.